Ruining My Kidneys

Yesterday, and the day before yesterday, I think I ate a lot of salt, because I craved it and felt bad. But once I ate some fruits and vegetables, my salt craving was gone. This does NOT mean that I should restrict my salt intake. I don't want to experience what I had done in the past.

Another thing is that I ate salty meals before I go to bed. That helps me from getting up and urinating at night. So it reduces my urination to some extent.

But in the back of my mind, I always had an idea that something is wrong with this. If I ate a salty meal before bed, then my back near the kidneys hurt. I would also see a tint of redness in my urine. This is unlike the dark yellow color of urine when I'm dehydrated. So a salty meal before bedtime may be damaging my kidneys.

Therefore, I will try to eat a little less salt. But this will cause me to urinate more at night. It's a catch-22.

The only safe solution is to restrict my starch intake, so I wouldn't urinate too much.

Ever since I moved to China, I was "coerced" to up my starch intake. This isn't because I don't have the money—I have the money. This is because I can't find any fat in the farmers' market or in the grocery store. Maybe I hadn't looked enough.

Maybe because I have social anxiety, and I just don't want to search for more places to buy fatty foods. (I have mild social anxiety. But this isn't an excuse for me not to go out and ask strangers to buy stuff. I know I should interact with strangers more, so I can expose myself and get used to it. But I don't know how to start. My whole family doesn't want me to go outside without their guidance because they're worried that I will get lost or can't find my way. (Or maybe I'm rationalizing! Am I using my controlling grandparents as an excuse not to interact with strangers??? After all, they don't have absolute "control" over me. Not as much as my mom.))

I can shop online, but, sadly, I don't have a bank account. I can tell my mom to buy stuff, but I must get her permission.

On average, I eat about 400 grams of carbohydrates daily. This was more than what I ate before I had moved to China.

I will now try to replace some of my carbohydrate intake with fat. I'm trying to reduce my carbohydrate intake to 200-250 grams initially, and up it as I heal.

Yes, I found that my kidneys don't hurt if I ate a fatty meal.

It's proven that fatty acids are stored in fat tissue. But the half-life of PUFAs is two years. So I must be careful, as a priority, during this healing process so I will not damage anything while doing it.

I know my writing sounds like it's written by a third-grader (no offense to third-graders), but my style of writing depends on my mood. When I don't feel well, I don't write well. Enough said.